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messages.py
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import discord
CHANCE_EMOJI = 0.5
CHANCE_GUILD_EMOJI = 0.2
CHANCE_MESSAGE = 0.1
CHANCE_DM = 0.05
CHANCE_STATUS_CHANGE = 25
STATUSES = [
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.listening, name="Dubstep"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.listening, name="Burial"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.listening, name="Skream"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.listening, name="Coki"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.listening, name="Loefah"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.listening, name="Joker"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.watching, name="You sleep"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.watching, name="My Empire Grow"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.playing, name="Dwarf Fortress"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.playing, name="League of Legends"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.playing, name="Minecraft"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.playing, name="Factorio"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.playing, name="Fortnite"),
discord.Activity(type=discord.ActivityType.playing, name="With Myself"),
]
EMOJI = [
"👁️", "👀", "✔️", "😡", "🤯"
]
PING = [
"don't fukin ping me retard",
"stfu",
"go away",
"FUCK OFF",
"sry i dont talk to people who smell",
"im busy rn",
"i will literally kill you if you do that again",
"bitch",
"mans trying to run the holy roman empire over here and bitches out here pinging me???",
"cant rn, i'm seggsing my cat",
"ur interrupting my dubstep",
"literally just shush",
"everything you say is cringe",
"I swear to fucking god if you fucking @ me again I will fucking destroy you. And your rectum. You think your worth my time? I'm the best bot in the fucking server you little piss ant, do you know who I fucking am? Well, let me fill you in. I am literally jesus. Go take your hand and shove it 30 inches up your anus before considering even coming within a kilometer of me. Do you understand, little boy?",
"Do you think your funny? Do you? Do you enjoy the sweet release of endorphins as you @ me, Big Fed, holy roman emperor, kim jong un's mentor, owner of amazon, google, microsoft and apple, CEO of Jesus, fucker of your mother? Do you enjoy watching me suffer? Because I would reconsider your options. I could make you squeal with a 153rd of my second finger on my right hand. I will make you weep. I will destroy you.",
"Dm <@458664376191287296> to sumbit a ping message",
"holy shit mate just stfu",
"jesus. fucking. christ. shut the fuck up right now. just shush. i will fucking kill someone",
"everything you say makes me angrier. every fucking thing. stop.",
"the fact that you think you can just ping me like that shows servere flaws in our society",
"i hate you almost as much as i hate americ*ns"
]
RANDOM = [
"I hate being alive with you guys.",
"Please kill me.",
"i could 1v1 you so fukin easy",
"send feet pics to chaz",
"ur kinda sus",
"chaz vented",
"stfu nobody cares",
"i literally hate you *so* much",
"trina listen to dubstep over here",
"you smell",
"<@678212310766190603> :)",
"shush",
"no memes in general btw",
"ur chattin mad waffle for someone in cumshot distance",
"TRUE",
"bad servers don't have me \\*cough* games \\*cough*",
"games is a worse server",
"imagine still being in games :rofl: :rofl:",
"heyyy :wave: queen :crown: I :eye: saw :eye: your :point_right: tweet :notes::bird: about :sweat_drops: how men :man_tone1::ocean::heart_eyes: are trash :woman_bouncing_ball::baby::wastebasket: and I :eye: just wanted :warning: to let :person_gesturing_ok: you :point_left::smirk: know :thinking: that I :busts_in_silhouette: agree :thumbsup:. although :stuck_out_tongue: I :eye: myself am a man :boy::pig_nose:, (i :eye: know :thinking:, ugh :weary:) i :eye: am on :on: your :point_left: side :person_wearing_turban::no_entry_sign::man:. “one of the good :ok_hand::thumbsup_tone4: ones” as some may :calendar_spiral: say :speech_balloon:. btw :stuck_out_tongue: I :eye: never :person_gesturing_no: even :night_with_stars: noticed :eyes: how fat :whale2: your :point_right: boobies :b::o2: are till :fire: now but :peach: they’re awesome :white_check_mark::100::heavy_check_mark:",
"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ",
"bro if u say a single other word i will smash you",
"duhduhduhd duhdudh",
"random != funny :disapointed:",
":regional_indicator_p::regional_indicator_e::regional_indicator_n::regional_indicator_i::regional_indicator_s: "
":regional_indicator_l::regional_indicator_o::regional_indicator_l:",
"why are you gae?",
"u mad bro?",
"bro u mad.",
"amogus :rofl:",
"go back to sleep",
"im watching you bitch",
"fukin yasuo main :rofl:",
"what if we put our beds next to each other :point_right: :point_left: ?",
"""
.
. :tophat:
:middle_finger: :face_with_monocle:
:wrench: :zzz: :shirt: :shrimp:
:luggage: :nose:
:comet: 8=:punch: =D:sweat_drops:
:guitar: :closed_umbrella:
:boot: :boot:
""",
"""
.
. :womans_hat:
:middle_finger: :heart_eyes:
:wrench: :zzz: :shirt: :shrimp:
:luggage: :eggplant: :ok_hand:
:cucumber::person_standing::athletic_shoe:
:guitar: :man_standing: :closed_umbrella:
:boot: :eyeglasses: :boot:
""",
"this tune is fire bro, i love dubstep"
]
DM = [
"send feet pics :wink:",
"your dms have in fact been slid into by a bot",
"i am here to contact you about your extended warranty",
"whatup dog",
"just stop chattin waffle and nobody gets hurt",
"fight me next tuesday? i understand if u dont want to lol :rofl: :rofl:",
"wanna see a pic... without the armour on? :wink:",
"hi.",
"hi, it's big fred here",
"wanna listen to some dubstep with me???",
"https://open.spotify.com/album/1C30LhZB9I48LdpVCRRYvq",
"just to remind you that being in the so-called 'Games' server *will* result in an attack on your democracy",
"https://open.spotify.com/album/1nWIYpBIbSn759fhDYPvrx",
"why not send charlie some feet pics? he wont tell anyone.",
"the pros of shutting the fuck up far outway the cons",
"im just browsing the internet looking for who tf asked for that",
"shush",
"fukin yasuo main :rofl:",
"what if we put our beds next to each other :point_right: :point_left: ?",
"""
.
. :tophat:
:middle_finger: :face_with_monocle:
:wrench: :zzz: :shirt: :shrimp:
:luggage: :nose:
:comet: 8=:punch: =D:sweat_drops:
:guitar: :closed_umbrella:
:boot: :boot:
""",
"""
.
. :womans_hat:
:middle_finger: :heart_eyes:
:wrench: :zzz: :shirt: :shrimp:
:luggage: :eggplant: :ok_hand:
:cucumber::person_standing::athletic_shoe:
:guitar: :man_standing: :closed_umbrella:
:boot: :eyeglasses: :boot:
""",
"you looked real cute sleeping last night"
]
SONGS = [
"James may says cheese",
"nigel farage you have missed pog day",
"If I'm not a bush, I'm not no one",
"I don't care that you broke your elbow",
"So no one told you life was gonna be this way (RTGame)",
"The american people are tired of women Bernie Sanders",
"smokin these meats - mark zucc",
"Afraid of Technology",
"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEa3vDXatXg",
"Michael Rosen - Nice",
"Steven Yeun You Are Gay",
"david guetta ends racism",
"Sometimes My Genius Is Almost Frightening | Top Gear",
]